Top Five On-Screen Daddies

June 21, 2017 Half Blood Princesses

Let's be clear that we are not talking about "daddy" in the traditional sense of the term. These contenders are not your father and are not (necessarily) your sugar daddies. When we're talking "Daddy", we mean... someone that's sure of themselves. Someone that is the authority on all things "daddy". Protectors. Rebels. Stoics. Tall, dark, and daddy. Now mind you, not all Daddies are male. We're daddy. You may be daddy, too. But for this list, we compiled our current top five favorite on-screen male daddies.

These are in NO particular order. However, we are going to label them like they are members of a boyband supergroup... Spice Daddies, if you will.

5. Scary Daddy: Walter White (Bryan Cranston) from Breaking Bad

Though Walter White may be a father, that's not what makes him daddy. Only a true daddy could be as cocky as Walter White is in a pair of tighty whities. And. We. Are. In. To. It. He uses science to get daddy shit done, like a meth-cooking, straight-up-murdering, "I am the danger" Bill Nye. (And don't even pretend like you didn't spend your adolescent years fantasizing about what's under the Science Guy's lab coat.) He may have been a great Chemistry teacher, but we wish he could teach us a course in Daddy.

4. Grungy Daddy: Fred Andrews (Luke Perry) from Riverdale

Let's face it: Luke Perry's been Daddy since 90210. One of us may or may not have had a giant puzzle of a Teen Beat-esque headshot of Luke in the 90s. The CW's definitely upped their game with the addition of Riverdale, a somewhat-based-on-the-Archie-Comics show that mixes the vibe of Twin Peaks with Gossip Girl and is CHOCK-FULL of Daddy (Skeet Ulrich is another father Daddy on the show, sooooo.......). It's our current obsession and a large part of that is Fred Andrews, the trying-his-best daddy that just can't catch a break but still manages to hook up with your friend's mom. So. Much. Daddy.

3. Secret Guardian Daddy: Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) from the Harry Potter series

Alan Rickman was a daddy in his own right, but for the sake of this "on-screen" list, we will gladly use Severus. Professor Snape is sexy brooding wrapped in a cloak. Others may have questioned Snape's loyalty in the books/movies, but In Daddy We Trusted. There's nothing more Daddy than spending your life, and ultimately giving your life, protecting an innocent in the name of true love. We had total faith in Dumbledore (another one of our favorite Daddies) that he had not misplaced his trust. Snape is Sneaky Daddy, he's Selfless Daddy, he's Dark Arts Daddy, and he's Always Daddy. (BRB, crying break...)

2. Library Daddy: Rupert Giles (Anthony Head) from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the show)

There are not many things more attractive than a glasses-wearing, book-reading, has-all-the-answers-always Daddy. Oh wait, there is... A glasses-wearing, book-reading, has-all-the-answers-always Daddy with an accent. He has no qualms with ignoring his orders from the Council to do what he thinks is right, which is WAY Daddy. He has the patience to find the answers, but also has the strength to fight battles and kick ass by Buffy's side. He hangs out in cemeteries and sends vampires straight to hell, all while wearing a three-piece tweed suit. This Daddy be fashionable af.

1. Magic Daddy: Gandalf the Grey AND Gandalf the White (Ian McKellen) from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Gandalf is everything. Gandalf is Daddy. He died fighting a MF'in Balrog and came back! He's Resurrected Daddy. Not only did he come back, but he came back shinier and prettier than before. He's Diamond Daddy. He knew he couldn't resist the power of the ring, so he entrusted it to the only species he thought could. He's SELF-CONTROL-OFF-THE-CHARTS DADDY. He brought Bilbo home. He brought Frodo home. He's Journey Daddy. Gandalf is bearded and scowly and wise and blows smoke rings like a boss. Gandalf is everything. Gandalf is Daddy.

Top Five Shows That Ended Too Soon

October 20, 2016 Half Blood Princesses

We will never understand why some shows (*cough* Two and a Half Men *cough*) get twelve seasons, and other FAR superior shows only get one or two (We're looking at you, Fox…). In an attempt to balance the scales, here is our homage to five shows that got axed before their time.

5. My So Called Life

Jared Leto has literally made one good choice in his career, and it was Jordan Catalano. Let's all agree to live in a world where My So Called Life lived on and 30 Seconds to Mars never happened. And. Do. You. Re. Mem. Ber. His. Chokers?!?!?!?! If you don't (or if you do), (re)watch the one and only season of Angela Chase's angst-filled quest for identity, sexual awakening, and the perfect red bob, and Jordan Catalano's choker-strewn quest for more chokers.

For fans of: Degrassi, flannel, Dawson's Creek, 90s fashion, not 30 Seconds to Mars, Freaks and Geeks, Felicity

4. Witches of East End

THE ONLY GOOD SHOW TO EVER BE ON LIFETIME WE STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT GOT CANCELLED THIS MAKES NO SENSE YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT LIFETIME!! It features Madchen Amick (Shelly from Twin Peaks), Jenna Dewan Tatum (the first star to Step It Up), and Julia Ormond that you'll recognize from things. Oh, and they're all witches! It's got a sexy animagus, a mega-hottie-love-triangle, sister-swapping, a seance-inspiring wardrobe, century-spanning soul mates, and oh yeah, they're all witches. It lasted two (UGH!!!) seasons and ends on a cliffhanger because OBVI YOU DIDN'T TELL THEM THEY WERE GETTING CANCELLED LIFETIME BECAUSE YOU'RE THE WORST, but regardless, you should still watch it immediately. Just…you know…guard your hearts more than we did.

For fans of: Charmed, covens, AHS: Coven, witches, magic, Sabrina the Teenage Witch

3. Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars is one of the most badass female characters to ever appear on screen. She's our generation's Nancy Drew, if Nancy Drew enjoyed tasing people and was quick with the quips. The show lasted three short seasons, and revolved around an ex-Sheriff-turned-P.I.'s daughter that had a knack for putting away murderers and dog-nappers and everyone in between. You know all those moments when you come up with the *perfect* comeback 5 minutes or two weeks too late? That NEVER happens to Veronica. Live out your Quick Comeback Fantasies with Veronica and her kooky band of misfit friends. Plus she tases people.

(And if you're worried about getting addicted, praise Kickstarter because there's a movie that ties up all the loose ends that we may or may not have seen about 22 times *and counting*.)

For fans of: tasing, Jessica Jones, Sherlock, spicy little firecracker Polly Pockets, justice

2. Freaks and Geeks

The only struggle you'll have with watching Freaks and Geeks is deciding who you love more: the freaks or the geeks. It centers on Lindsay & Sam Weir, a freak and geek (respectively) sibling duo and their friends. Most of the show's budget was spent on music, so just mull that over for a moment. The soundtrack alone is enough of a reason to watch the show, but let us give you a few more: It was the first time we as a nation met Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, James Franco, Linda Cardellini, Martin Starr, and Busy Phillips. It was the TV baby of Paul Feig and Judd Apatow, who would not come together again until Bridesmaids. Each episode contained real life experiences from the writers, which makes it one of the most genuine shows ever to hit television. It was so genuine, in fact, that it got cancelled after one season because the station exec thought the characters didn't get enough "victories". Um...cue all of our high school experiences. Was he home schooled or...? Just like the girl in the cafeteria tells Lindsay that she wishes she had never heard American Beauty so she could listen to it again for the first time, we wish we could watch F&G again for the first time.

For fans of: My So Called Life, music, nostalgia, The Breakfast Club, love, Love, That 70s Show, the awkward fashion transition between the 70s and 80s

1. Firefly

Hey Fox, next time you get handed one of the most brilliant shows ever, maybe air the episodes in order. Oh and hey Fox, when Joss Whedon creates a Sci Fi-Western hybrid that's as beautiful as Benedict Cumberbatch is INSIDE AND OUT, you don't just throw it in the garbage like Ross Gellar's Moistmaker sandwich. The theme song to the show states "You can't take the sky from me"...but clearly the writer of the song (Joss MF Whedon) had never met the Fox execs. It features outlaws, strong female characters, an interracial couple, and a dislike for a government prone to starting wars....so no wonder Fox sabotaged it. It's Joss's favorite of his creations, which is saying a lot coming from the man that brought us Buffy and The Avengers. Like Veronica Mars, the fans were loud enough that we got a movie to wrap up the loose ends: Serenity. Like Joss, there's no place we'd rather be than on board Serenity....but we'll settle for our couches marathoning (Yes Spell Check, "marathoning" is a word now) Firefly and Serenity...again...for days on end...again.

For fans of: Buffy, Star Trek, space, westerns, space westerns, Han Solo, rebels, not Fox, Quantum Leap

Top Five Pins for the Halloween Season

October 9, 2016 Half Blood Princesses

Up your flair game this month by nabbing these cute and spooky ("cuky?" "spute?") gems. We love them all so much, so these are in no particular order.

5. "Hard Luck" by Heartificial Pins.

Candy bars? Popcorn balls? A packet of gum? Not for ole' Charlie Brown. This "I got a rock" pin is a perfect summation of all of our shitty luck and love for Halloween.

4. Cartoon Lydia Deetz by Kill 'Em With Cuteness.

"My revenge will be artistic, not personal." Same same. She's our personal hero, our style icon, and our sass queen.

3. "NOSFERATU" by Phantom City Creative.

When you want to leave the cute at home and just go straight for the creepy af, make sure to wear this guy.

2. "No Feet" by Super Secret Fan Club.

Beetlejuice? Yes. Ghost costumes? Yes. Glitter? Yes, yes, yes! This little polaroid pin is by far the most unique of this "cuky" bunch.

1. "Ouija" by Memento Mori Goods.

The planchette moves. The end. It will definitely keep you occupied for hours, so make sure you wear it to work.

Top Five Reasons We're Excited about Fantastic Beasts…

October 1, 2016 Half Blood Princesses

5. The 1920s

Um…wardrobe much? The 1920s are probably your go-to answer to the question: "What's your favorite decade?" The hats, the bobs, the finger waves, the speakeasies, the bow ties, so much yes. Mixing the magic of the 20s with the magic of, you know, J.K. Rowling, might make our hearts explode into one big swoony mess.

4. The Beasts

Let's go ahead and admit that some of our favorite characters from the HP series were Buckbeak, Fawkes, and Hedwig (RIP). The magical creatures that (unfortunately, to our knowledge) only exist in the Harry Potter universe make muggle pets look like peasants. The three that we're MOST excited about are:

The Niffler: a furry platypus/anteater-looking chunk that's attracted to glittery objects. Can you say #newspiritanimal?

The Bowtruckle: sassy lil teeny tiny tree guardian that's partial to wood lice and fairy eggs. It's super hard to spot and will claw out your eyes if you threaten its host tree…probably.

The Demiguise: ok goosebumps. If Falcor and a perfect little baby monkey had a baby, it would be a demiguise. It's extremely sought-after because its hair can be woven into invisibility cloaks. They are hard to catch because they can tell the future, so you have to do something unpredictable in order to be able to find one. But please don't cuz… they are angelic angelly baby angels and we love them.

Demiguise,  www.pottermore.com — Demiguise, www.pottermore.com

3. Ilvermorny

The American version of Hogwarts has us feeling some feelings. It was founded by a witch and her No-Maj (American term for "muggle") husband, so it's like the more progressive, non-elitist cousin of the other wizarding schools. Like Hogwarts, it has four houses. Prepare yourself for endless debates with your friends on what house you/they/your fav HP characters would be sorted into. The houses are as follows:

Horned Serpent: favors the scholars

Pukwudgie: favors the healers

Thunderbird: favors the adventurers

Wampus: favors the warriors

Unlike Hogwarts, there's no sorting hat. Basically you stand in a spot in a circular room and these statues fight over you. If more than one wants you, you get a choice. Sound a little familiar? #harrypotter #thevoice

2. Eddie Redmayne

We. can. not. think of a better human in all of existence to lead us back into the Harry Potter 'verse than Eddie Redmayne. His performances in The Theory of Everything, My Week with Marilyn and oh yeah, The Danish Girl, put him in the forefront of our minds for weeks. He seems equal parts someone you could probably be friends with if you met him on the street and someone that you can't quite look in the eyes because he's too…handsome? smooth? perfect? enthralling? magical? I dunno, you choose. He's a lot of things that we both can and can't handle. From what we've seen in the Fantastic Beasts trailer, he might give our baby Matt Smith a run for his money with his bow tie game. He's a big fan of the Harry Potter books and films, so we trust that he will at least meet, if not exceed, our very..very…very high expectations.

1. And obviously…it's a return to the world we love/miss/need so much.

We've been described as the Harry Potter generation, and we'll gladly accept. Even a quick reference to the Harry Potter world in an unrelated book or movie makes our heart skip a beat and a creepy smile cross our faces. Do you ever catch yourself eavesdropping on conversations because you heard the word "Dumbledore", "Harry", "Potter", "Pot" "Ter", or "magic" and you think there might be a new friend in your midst? We do this quite often. So naturally, when news came that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was being made into a film, we felt like we were getting to go home again. There's something exciting and comfortable and addicting about the world that Goddess Rowling has created, and we need our fix. Cue Fantastic Beasts.

Also, there's the possibility of OG cameos, so...