Drink once every time:
You find yourself questioning whether or not there are actual lenses in Harry’s glasses
Dobby cries
Dobby makes you cry
The burrow is your house-goals
Mrs. Weasley switches moods between her children and Harry faster than Apple releases a new iPhone
There are transportation issues
Lockhart’s hair and/or incompetence and/or boasting is too Trump-y
Someone/thing gets petrified
The Whomping Willow gives zero fucks
Filch is inappropriately terrifying as far as school staff goes
Ron’s broken wand causes problems
Malfoy needs his filthy mouth washed out with soap
You love Hagrid so fucking much it hurts
Moaning Myrtle…um…moans.
Fawkes makes you smile big
Even though you know they’re spiked, you still want to eat the cupcakes
Hermione, you brilliant bitch
When the diary causes more problems than your LiveJournal from junior year
Seriously, why are wizard pajamas so much better than muggle pajamas?
You’re low-key attracted to young Voldemort and are fully aware of what that means regarding your taste in men
Minerva’s hats and bonnets got you feeling some kinda way
You wanna snip-snip Lucius’s hair
SUPER SLOPPY EDITION:
A rule is broken
Spiders, slugs, or snekssss
Ron gets scared
Dobby hurts himself